"Alright Mr. Jones. It's OK Mr. Jones. Mr. Jones, really, it's OK. Sit down."
"But Doc, I'm worried."
"Everything. The world is changing so fast. I mean, look at the news! Even Hillary might not win New Hampshire!"
Doctor looks puzzled.
"And Doc... oh, my God... Doc, I mean people like me... well, they could have a heart attack... you know, the Big One. Did you hear? Holy Mackerel! Can you believe it? I mean, what about my kids, my wife? Who'll be there when I'm gone? And what about my new HD TV system that I got for Christmas?How will we pay the bills? And my taxes in April? Doc, can I use your sink? I need to wash my hands. Really, can I?"
"Oh, thank you, Doc! How can I ever repay you!" Proceeds to wash his hands again and again.
"Doc, I was wondering..."
"Can I get some Xanax? And maybe some of that butterfly medicine. You know, the one to help you sleep? Do you think it will help?"
Doctor's hands begin to sweat.