Thursday, September 14, 2006

B.O. and Your Daughter

Now for something bordering on the ridiculous:

Each night I walk my Cocker Spaniel for her "evening consitutional" prior to retiring. I have always been fascinated how she hones in to the scent on a particular bush where obviously other male dogs have marked their territory. Clearly there are some incredible odors there that I am grateful I cannot enjoy as she does.

It is with this frame of reference that I was amazed at this latest "research" coming from Penn State (Actual reference: Am J Hum Biol. 2006 Jul-Aug;18(4):481-91):

It seems these researchers feel my B.O. is going to keep my daughter from maturing.

Two (fatherless?) researchers from the Penn State took some surveys:
Researchers, including Elizabeth Susman, the Jean Phillips Shibley professor of biobehavioral health at Penn State, collected menarcheal data from 1,938 college students to explore the link between girls' social environment and their sexual maturity. The data included information on factors such as the girls' family size, social environment, and how long the father had been absent.
It seems they found girls without Dad at home had their menses 3 months earlier than those whose Dads were at home. Fair enough. But how did they collect the data of the Dad’s pheromones to make their smelly conclusion? Did they do anaerobic bacterial samples? Their leap to pheromones is incredible:
"Biological fathers send out inhibitory chemical signals to their daughters," said Robert Matchock, assistant professor of psychology at Penn State's Altoona Campus (and lead author). "In the absence of these signals, girls tend to sexually mature earlier."

Matchock speculates that urban environments provide greater opportunities to get away from parents' inhibitory pheromones, and encounter attracting pheromones from unrelated members of the opposite sex.
Maybe geographical, ethical, or social issues play a significant role, folks. Look, I’m sure I don’t smell like a rose after working out (yeah, those shoes can get pretty ripe), but to conclude that I am delaying my daughter’s development because of my B.O., stinks to high heaven.

Unless my daughter has the same sense of smell as my spaniel...

I just wonder whose dollar is funding this garbage…

--Wes

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I bred only sons, so cannot provide equivalent data; however, my sons, on more than one occasion, gave distinct opinions on my pheromones (or other aromas?)

Anonymous said...

"I just wonder whose dollar is funding this garbage… "

Um ... I can guess. Check your wallet, and your W-2 ...

*comfort* >;o)