Friday, October 29, 2010

REPROGRAMU Results Released


Chicago, IL – 29 Oct 2010 (AP): Results of the three-year REPROGRAMU trial (Realtime Evaluation of Physician Reactions to Organized Group Affiliations and Meaningful Use) were released by Dr. Benditt Throckmorton, MD, noted board-certified psychiatrist and principle investigator of the trial. The trial studied 3142 physicians’ attitudes regarding the implementation of “corporate group think” and a newly developed prerequisite called “meaningful use.”

“I was surprised to see how many doctors no longer feel meaningful,” said Dr. Throckmorton. “Depression, anxiety, and psychotic measures were at an all-time high as doctors searched for the cause of their ennui,” he said. When asked why this might be, he noted that while this was only preliminary research, the requirement to feel “meaningful” by e-prescribing, addressing quality measure checkboxes that pop up unrelated to the patient’s complaints, handing them a piece of paper they throw away, and reporting their patient’s race to the government might result and the “pile-on” of potential patient dissatisfaction scores that might result from NOT attending to their patient’s needs. “When the government comes first, it’s hard for doctors to feel meaningful for the care they provide,” he said.

Thankfully, it seems there might be help on the way. “We’ve found that forming Meaningless support groups really helps,” Throckmorton said. He also noted that recent preliminary studies have also found that “low-T” might be contributing to the condition. "It seems the symptoms of Meaningless Use Syndrome (lack of libido, lack of energy and enjoyment of life, and reduced, um, ‘height’) are similar in both conditions,” he said. “Our ongoing ‘T for TWO’ trial performed with Solvay Pharmaceuticals should help answer this question. If we find they correlate, then perhaps just a small injection will help male AND female physicians feel more meaningful soon.”

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1 comment:

Nuclear Fire said...

Freaking hilarious. And yet sadly true.