Reentry

It's hard to believe I'll be back at work tomorrow. 

It seems strange that I worry more about this now.

Perhaps it is the deluge of e-mails and EMR inbasket messages that have already required my attention.  Perhaps it is the prospect of knowing I'll be on call again this week (welcome back!).  Or perhaps it's the administrative burdens that are heavier now than earlier in my career.  I'm not sure.  More cases await.  More challenges.   There is guilt that comes with vacation time for physicians.

Mind you, I had one heck of a nice time off.  I saw friends.  Heard my son play his cello professionally.  Fished from a canoe.  Kayaked through sea caves.  Played guitar.  Watched plenty of sunsets.  Read some articles.  Rode a moped. Laughed with the kids.  Had great talks over coffee with my wife.  I didn't touch a computer.  And slept later than I can remember.

But while I was away, others toiled.  They booked cases and I didn't.  This month, their RVU total grew while mine shrunk.  They answered e-mails and messages and I didn't.  I wasn't a worker bee.  I was not productive.  Instead, I was a vacationing slacker. 

It's strange to think of yourself as a slacker.  Strange indeed. 

Especially now when I look back and realize how incredibly productive I just was.

-Wes