Monday, September 20, 2010

Medicine: From Altruism to Cynicism… and Almost Back

“I’ve always wanted to help people.”

“How can the brachial plexus be exactly the same for every person?"

“Why do they put microbiology, pharmachology, and pathology in the same semester?”

“Physical diagnosis is so frickin’ cool! Look what you can see if you know what you’re looking for!”

“She didn’t want to see me; she wants to talk to the attending.”

“Why? He was so young, 2 kids, nice wife. Worse, he was my age!”

“People are idiots. He blew his whole hand off and for what?"

“What do you mean I didn’t get paid? I spent two hours with that guy!”

"I can't believe she set fire to their trailer with the baby there..."

“Since when did that ICD-9 code have to be paired with that CPT code?”

“Why is it the nurse always wakes me at 1 AM so the patient can have a sleeping pill?”

“Screw it. Tylenol, Ambien, milk of magnesia are now standard meds in my admission orders.”

“What do you mean there are no blood pressure cuffs on the wards?”

“They charged the patient how much for that surgery?”

“Stethoscopes are worthless. Get an echo.”

“With chest pain, all roads lead to cath.”

"E-mail, too?"

“Volume. Need more volume. Have you talked with PR?”

“I can't stand this EMR."

“Why aren’t we being asked to do more research for those guys?”

“It’ll be every third weekend for a while now that we’ve added another hospital to the mix.”

“Mom’s got a mass – looks like the pancreas.”

“I hear they’re doing some amazing research. And they've got a helluva surgeon.”

“I can’t believe what they can do these days. They technology is amazing.”

“Why she losing so much weight?”

“I hate that she has to run around all over the place for another appointment.”

"Here, let me help you with that door."

“I can’t believe she made it through! The team was… frankly… amazing.”

“We spent Christmas together, I'm glad we had that time together. I miss her.”

"I have no idea how I'd be able to do medicine without that EMR."

“The key is to not only look at the lines of the page that represent the heart’s activity, it’s to use deductive reasoning to make a diagnosis.”

"I've never felt so good. Thanks, doc."

“Dude, medicine is so cool.”


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