Thursday, November 30, 2006

Code Blue

It had been a long day: a book chapter due, tons of consults, too little sleep, procedures. So when I had a minute to grab a little respite from the chaos while nature called, I took it. I sat on the throne to ponder the day. I needn’t go into gory details. But when I stood up, I heard a “plunck.”

“What the…?”

And I turned around and saw it. My pager. In the toilet.

Now one must make some serious decisions quickly in this situation.

Like, “do I get it or flush it?” Hmmm.

Oh, hell, I’m a doctor. So I grabbed it quickly.

Then rinsed it. And I washed and washed my hands, mind you. No Purell for me! Nope, I don’t trust that crummy residue it leaves on your hands. Lots and lots of soap and water. Then chlorhexidine just to be careful.

But then I realized I had not checked the patient.

“Pager, pager are you alright?”

No response.

“Quick, call 911!”

Thinking quickly, I removed the battery cover and extracted the battery. I shook it dry. Still no response.

Then I couldn’t remember – is it 15 button pushes to two hard breaths or 5 button pushes to 1 hard breath? Feeling that hypoxia and drowning were the most likely cause of sudden death, I chose the latter. Do I push the buttons half an inch or a quarter of an inch? Oh hell, I don't know. How old was she? I should have probably used epinephrine, atropine, or isoproterenol, but felt this might be one patient where a “quick code” might be in everyone’s best interest. After all, I had had her for about 6 years, and someone had her before me. It was time.

So I called the code. Time of death: 07:12 AM.

But as an electrophysiologist, I decided that water might have induced electronic hypothermia, so I gave one more thing a try...

... I slowly rewarmed the patient by placing her above an incandescent bulb while saying her last rights. "Rest easy," I said and borrowed another pager.

Later that night, I returned to the patient to check on her. I replaced the battery, inspected for a pulse and “viola',” tones chirped from her underbelly! A successful resuscitation at last!


Damn.

-Wes

5 comments:

Cathy said...

Heh!

Rob said...

Well Done!

You should have given some Lasix. Either that or done an echo (throwing it down a hall and here the nice clatter it makes).

Rob

Rob said...

I mean hear the nice clatter it makes...

Anonymous said...

seriously, everytime i sit down my pager and phone clatter to the ground. can't someone have a better way of arranging the belt loops to prevent this?

Dial Doctors said...

Great save doc! I have a mobile phone that suffered the same. Maybe reconsider trying your procedure again?

Seriously, my phone drowned the same way last week. I was so pissed I just bought another one. I still have it home. I'll try this when I get there