Mr Clark it appears quite likely you are having a heart attack and will require my services. I will need a retainer of $1500 via either cash or cashier's check. This does not cover any treatment but merely retains me as your physician.Ouch.
Then you will need to deposit $5000 into an escrow account. I will bill this account for services rendered. My charges are $400 an hour and I bill in 15 minute increments. Which means if it takes me 5 minute to review your EKG I still bill for 15. When the escrow account reaches $1000 you will need to deposit an additional $4000 to the account or I will cease to be your physician and you forfit the money in the escrow as well as the retainer and if you continue to require my care you will need to retain me again.
Would you like me to treat your heart attack?