We are writing to inform you that if you die in a hospital, your hospital will be blacklisted in the name of published "quality" data:
Patients die of common medical conditions more often at some of the area's best-known hospitals than at other institutions with less sterling reputations, according to a new state report published Monday.So please think twice about coming to a hospital for care when you're really sick, okay? Just be nice and die at home. That way, your local hospital will be able to save costs and look like it provides the finest of care.
Thank you for your understanding.