Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Star Wars, Episode IV: A New Hope?


Upon returning from the Heart Rhythm Society Meeting, I strapped in.

User ID: * click click click click *
Password: * click click click click click click *


Good morning Master Luke.

In-basket: 250 e-mails, Order Cosign: 324; Results Review: 124…

Use the Force, Luke!

* click click click click click click click click click *

But I, I can’t, ugh, I’m trying… * click click click click click *

… Phone Calls: 2; ED Follow-up: 9, Overdue Results: 32…

Come on, Luke! Focus!. Use the Force!…

… Pre-surgery notification: 34; Staff message: 3; Review reports: 2...

Small chirping sounds are heard from behind my seat. Then a voice: “Master Luke, I think C3PO has been hit!”

Focusing now…
“Urology Grand Rounds will be held 5/15/2008 at…” * click *
“Employee Appreciation Day…” * click *
“New opportunities to learn Word, Excel…” * click *
“Link Update: …” * click *
“Canceled: Clinical Section Meeting 5/21/08…” * click *
“Epic Downtime Notice…” * click *

Yes, Luke, Yes!

* click click click click click click click *


Smoke clearly perceived from back of computer guidance system… “Master Luke, our engine! What are we going to do? You’re needed in the lab, then the ward! There’s just too many of them!”

* click click click click click *

The Force Luke! Use the Force!


“Leadership Conference to be held..." * click *

“Google Alert: Google Health launched to great acclaim. Patients now will have their own personal health records and soon they may be able to communicate directly with their doctor via e-mail…”

“Noooo! I'm not sure I can... There’s too many! Ugh!” * click * “Ugh! I’m… trying…” * click *

The Force, Luke!!!

* click *
* click *
.
.
.
* click *
.
.
.* click *


Would you like to Log Off?

Yes, Luke, that’s it!!!!! Now, Luke, N…O…W…!!!!!

Closing his eyes...

* click *

Then a moment later:

* Bbbbzzzaaaappppppp *

A large flash occurs, then the screen goes dark… then...

silence....

























Yes, Jedi Master. On to rounds now…

... and may the Force be with you.


-Wes

2 comments:

The Happy Hospitalist said...

I gave up a week ago. I've got 300 signatures to sign off and 100 are "delinquent". It's go time when I get my "you're fired" letter. Till then it's Oprah and The View baby.

That sounded gay.

TBTAM said...

I've taken to screening out anything that is labeled "Broadcast mail"

I figure it it's important enough, I'll hear about it.

May the force be with you.