Colonic Beauty

My GI colleagues are excited.

As if to harken back to the 18th century uses of smell and decorum, Procter & Gamble is launching a new ad campaign modeled after cosmetic lines for the fiber laxative Metamucil to give you "drop-dead gorgeous guts" called “Beautify Your Insides.”

"Primp, Coif, Gussy Up... your insides with Metamucil!" the ad goes. "It's 100% psyllium-infused." (Minor correction: it's just 100% psyllium - the only infusing here is advertizing manipulation, but I digress).

Procter & Gamble feels this feat of fancy flourishing of flatulence and feces will find favor with the females.

But the ad campaign confuses colonic beautification with the beneficial cholesterol-lowering effects of psyllium on the heart.

In the Lipid Assessment Treatment Project which reviewed the effectiveness of all strategies of lipid-lowering in the general population, only 38% achieved their choleserol-lowering goal. Psyllium acheived target levels of cholesterol only 28% of the time versus 40% for statins (like simvastatin (Zocor), atorvastatin (Lipitor), and rosuvastatin (Crestor)). So while psyllium powder does lower cholesterol, its effects are modest and won't make your colon more beautiful. It is what it is.

I mean, really.

-Wes